My previous perpetual dithering over whether to continue the LISPA course next year was mainly sitting on the fence, occasionally swinging my legs from one side to the other. This week, first day of this year’s final term, I began nowhere near the fence and have ended up back in the leg-swinging position again. Grr.
I wasn’t looking forward to starting term. I wasn’t enthused about the things I knew we’d be covering and the thought of another year of all the things I didn’t like was a real weight on me. I realised that not only did I not want to do the second year, but I couldn’t see any point in finishing this one. Two more months of all this nonsense was two months too much and if I’d felt the same by the end of the week I’d have asked for a meeting with Thomas (who runs the school) to make my excuses and leave. I was really, really fed up with it all.
But, almost annoyingly, it hasn’t been a bad week. Creation group has been interesting, with a good bunch of collaborators, and that always, for me, sets the tone for the week. Even acrobatics was fun, as we started some basic martial arts routines, a simple kind of choreography that I wasn’t completely hopeless at.
So now, I’m thinking that not only must I finish this term — it’d be silly to step out now, particularly when we’re doing some rewarding work (this week, anyway) — but maybe next year could be good too. I’m still wary of spending too much longer in classes, rather than doing some proper acting work, and all my other concerns but it could be both good for me and enjoyable…