My fellow gamers of Great Britain.
We live in a confusing age. In this twenty first century, some carefree individuals have been using the Foursquare to check in to their own homes. Checking in to their own homes in order to score points.
We, as Britons, must resist such unsportsmanlike behaviour. All of us are able to go home. Where is the challenge in that? It is like hitting a six simply for strapping on your pads. Or winning by a knockout merely by pulling on your gloves. Such behaviour would be laughable were it not a betrayal of the game, of our fellow competitors, of Her Majesty the Queen.
These cheaters will say that we should be proud of our homes, of our castles. I say yes, we should be proud. But we must also be discreet. We are, after all, British! Some things should remain private, behind closed doors, not shared with friends and family.
Some people say this is a “grey area”. Some people say that the boundaries aren’t clear. Some people say we may as well check in anywhere and everywhere, hither and yon, willy and nilly. This is GREAT BRITAIN! We did not build this country on willy nilly!
This is not the time for grey areas.
This is not the time for compromise.
This is not the time for… appeasement.
Friends. Followers. Contacts. We must be strong. We must be resilient. We must cherish and protect those things we hold most dear. Our Britishness. Our sportsmanship. Our keeping ourselves to ourselves.
Do NOT check in at home. Thank you.
I am happy to report that those assembled voted almost unanimously in favour of my suggestion. Checking in at home is, therefore, strictly forbidden.